Some continue to fight it, but the majority has ruled that President Barack Obama performed about as well in his first debate with Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney as Rick Ross would in a race against Ryan Lochte at a Hilton pool. However, the online panic attacks - i.e., openly questioning whether Obama gave up the entire presidential race in 90 minutes – have been a bit premature to say the least.
As we await the start of the second installment of this brand of political theater, here are five tips the president could use for Tuesday night’s debate.
1. Look like you want to be there this time.
Jon Stewart had a point when he mentioned that Obama’s overall disposition suggested that he would rather be anywhere but at the podium with Mitt Romney‘s newly orange glow in his periphery vision. And for all the critiques about Romney lying the entire time, Stewart noted, “Obama lost even though Romney was lying his ass off the entire night.”
No matter how sentimental you feel about our commander-in-chief, this isn’t a good thing, y’all. It didn’t help that he appeared painfully bored by it all to boot.
Tip: Mr. President, look at Romney when he’s lying to your face; try not to look as if you could fall asleep standing up at a moment’s notice. Don’t let us know how great a waste of time these overproduced, talking-point heavy political expeditions are.
While I agree with you, I’m not the one trying to be president a second time around. If you’re going to hit me up every hour on the hour for my spare change to support your campaign, Mr. President, you’ve got to play along with the rest of us.
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2. Please, please, call out Mittens when he’s not telling the truth!
I’m not co-signing the sentiment that Obama has to turn off the Nina Simone and go full-fledged Crime Mob tonally with Romney. Strength doesn’t have to come in the form of aggression, but it sure can be spotted in one person making it painfully obvious that another is being blatantly deceitful about both his policies and theirs.
Tip: While we know that you probably can’t get away with the eye-rolling and smirking the way Vice President Jo Biden can, you should follow Biden’s lead by calling a “falsehood” exactly what it is.
3. Watch the “umms.”
A writer at heart, Obama has that pesky habit of occasionally babbling to make a point, which ultimately leads to one too many “umms” during a given explanation. Obama had more speaking time than Romney in the first debate, though many didn’t realize that until after the fact due to the president not speaking succinctly enough to drive a point home.
Had I played a drinking game in the first game based around the number of times Obama used “umm,” I probably would’ve died 40 minutes in to the debate.
Tip: Get to the point and be ready to fight back. You don’t want to lose your momentum by taking too long to conclude your argument.
4. Use moderator Candy Crowley’s push to intervene to your advantage.
Apparently, both the Romney and Obama campaigns prefer CNN host and second debate moderator Candy Crowley to “not ask follow-up questions… or otherwise intervene in the debate except to acknowledge the questioners from the audience or enforce the time limits, and invite candidate comments during the two-minute response period.”
She’s already made it clear that she’s going to buck the system, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. As cute as it is to hear questions from “everyday Americans,” they’ll likely be asking generic questions that keeps everyone within their safety net.
Tip: The sooner someone asks a question that requires thought and detail, the quicker Mitt Romney will look like he hasn’t got a clue, especially with foreign policy. Pounce the second this happens.
5. Make Chris Matthews happy.
You caused the MSNBC host to have a conniption on live television following your debate, shading you like a feisty teenage queen on Christopher Street.
Tip: If you do him proud tonight, you’ll make all of us left-leaning political-loving freaks happy.
What would you add to the list? Sound off below!
Originally seen on http://newsone.com/